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sad panda

I feel guilty and ungrateful.

I have so many great things in my life, and so many cool things to look forward to.  In two weeks I’ll be in Bangkok, starting a month-long adventure of Thailand, Laos, and Cambodia.  A month after that I’m going to NYC with my mama and auntie for a girls’ trip.  I’m finally quitting the job that’s made me miserable for the past year, I’m going back to school to study something I’m really interested in, and I’m making tonnes of progress in beating this decade-old eating disorder.

I have so much to be happy about!

And yet, I’m not.  2015 was supposed to be the year of happiness and positivity only, but so far I’ve spent the majority of it alone, sad, and wishing my time away.  I know I have a lot to look forward to in the next few months, and I’m truly excited and happy about those things, but that does nothing to make my day-to-day any better.  I’m lacking the friends and activities and everyday things that make life enjoyable.

Anyone on the outside looking in at my life would consider me ungrateful, I know.  And I feel like I must be – how can anyone be sad when they’re about to do all those big exciting things?!

I’m in a slump, and I don’t know how to get out of it.  I need a hug, and I need a good friend to sit down and share a cup of tea and real conversation with.  I need to spend less time alone and idle, and I need to stop feeling so sad and sorry for myself.

Someone write me a “Happiness for Dummies” book, because I’m having trouble with this.

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4 thoughts on “sad panda

  1. To Live With All My Might says:

    Feeling guilty on top of feeling sad is the absolute worst. I’m sorry to hear this and I hope you feel better soon! Sending a virtual cup of tea your way!

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  2. 2015 has only just begun, you have a whole year to feel happy and appreciate the good timea coming your way. I know it’s way easier to say, but try to cut yourself some slack, as this feeling won’t last forever 🙂

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  3. Sometimes it’s just about trusting that the slump will pass and riding it out until you start to feel better. It’s not your fault, so there is no need to feel guilty and ungrateful. For some people (like me!) making sure one is eating, sleeping and breathing is enough at some times, so if you can keep doing that you’re doing okay. It’s okay to feel sad. Sending a virtual hug!

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